The lecture topic for today brought more concern than things to look forward to in my old age. Since I am type one diabetic, unless there is a cure by the time I am in my old age, it will make that time in my life very difficult. One of the three things that comes with Successful Aging is avoiding disease and disease related disability (Finley), which I will not be able to avoid as I already have a chronic disease. Watching the videos about the people who were freshly retired and helping those who are in extreme old age, if I were to even make it to extreme old age, I would require a lot more care than just having someone brush my hair. I would need someone to track what I eat, what my blood sugars are, I would need someone to change my insulin pump and my continuous glucose monitor, I would need someone to make  sure I got the proper amount of insulin when I ate. Most of the things that I must do on my own now in order to survive will be transferred to someone else. But before I get to extreme old age, hypothetically the thing I would be looking most forward to would be traveling. Sadly, I do not think that travel is something I can do in my old age, as it is already extremely difficult now with my type one even while I am young and healthy. Even though it seems unlikely now that I would be able to travel when I’m in my old age, I am looking forward to spending more time with my family and volunteering when I can.

In order for me to be successful in the things that seem the most feasible for my old age, now I can work on making sure that I am as healthy as I can be and maintain it to ensure a healthier and easier future. If I improve and maintain a better state of health now it has the potential of easing my crazy blood sugar levels, which  would mean it would be much easier time doing that in my old age as well. I want to be able to live as long as I can and have a happy and fulfilling old age, and the only way to do that is if I am physically healthy enough to do so. For the most part physical health is what I am mostly worried about because I foresee myself being able to find purpose in my old age. I can see painting, reading, volunteering, and spending lots of tie with my family in my old age, leaving me plenty fulfilled.

Finley, K (2020). Positive aging what does well-being look like as we age? [PowerPoint presentation]. Retrieved from Moodle.

In my future I see many potential ways to interact with kids. I plan to volunteer in the children’s hospital when I turn 21, and will stay there until I have my career in child psychology. I also have hopes of being a parent as well. I have been around kids very often growing up as I am a part of a big family, and I would love to have a future filled with kids as well. I knew that the role of adults in children’s lives was important, but it never occurred to me just how influential these relationships were. 

For my future as a volunteer in the children’s hospital, I don’t think the ideas of positive youth development would apply to it very well because I want to volunteer in the prenatal unit. But for the rest of the areas of my life that will involve kids has the potential to help benefit the children I am around. In my future career there are a few elements of Positive Youth Development that I could utilize. I could help foster the ideas of identity and moral perspective through providing the children I work with a form of community (Finley 2020). As a psychologist in a children’s hospital, I feel that it would be important for me to help the kids come in contact with others in the hospital, forming a little community, especially those who are in the hospital for an extended period of time. It is more critical that I provide a sense of community to the children who are there more long term as it would be more difficult than the average child to find a community. 

I feel like for my future family I can emphasize community as well but in the form of community service. I’m a fairly religious person so it would be safe for me to believe that my children would also be practicing in organized religion. But to really help foster their identity and moral development I can have my children actively participate in community service (Finley 2020). If I am still working with the hospital I could do something with them there, have them make things for the patience, writing notes or making goodie bags for example.

I already had ideas of incorporating some of these ideas into the lives of the children I will encounter in the future. But now I have more tangible evidence of the effects and importance of the ideas of Positive Youth Development.

Finley, K (2020). Positive youth development applying positive youth development for future flourishing adults [PowePoint presentation]. Retrieved from Moodle.

Dear Low Points Of My Life,

You have taught me that through great trauma can come growth. With each tear has come a little more knowledge and a little more strength. You were not easy. There were moments when my pain, whether emotional of physical, was all consuming. Overwhelming my senses with hurt and heartache. Each experience was different. Some instances I felt like I was drowning. Tumbling in a wave unable to distinguish which way was up, and  just when I’d get a gasp of air I’d be sent tumbling right back down by another wave. Sometimes I felt paralyzed. Unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to think. There were times in my life when I felt like I was perpetually holding my breath. A tightness and weight to my chest that I could feel, not knowing that it existed until I felt my first real breath in who knows how long. But through all the pain and trauma, I have become resilient, an immovable force, determined to make my life my own. There are many things that had the potential to sink me for good, but through my faith and through my experience, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how dark, no matter how bleak it gets, there will always be light. Struggle is the catalyst of growth. There is need for struggle and hardship in order to be able to have a true appreciation for the good. The warmth of the sun is most appreciated after a cold and harsh winter. That is what you have done for me. You have provided me with the tools and the ability to appreciate the good when it comes. Though at times it seems fleeting, I have been taught to savor every second you have, because you never know how long you will have it. Not only have you taught me how to survive, you have also given me the tools to help those who have struggled in the way I have. You have inspired me to study psychology. I have a need to share my experiences and resilience with others. Being the ‘mom friends’ of several friend groups, I have already been able to help several experiences with the wisdom you have bestowed onto me through my trauma. I want to teach people that their low points can be used to propel them into a wonderful future. Ad astra per aspera, from hardship to the stars.

As the day went on I was looking for opportunities that I could provide a random stranger with a random act of kindness. There was not really an opportunity that I could see, so I decided that I would do something unexpected for my mom. While I was out and about today, I stopped by the grocery to buy my mom some flowers. This was not necessarily a sacrifice, but I did go out of my way to stop, and to try to find some flowers that I thought she would like. When my parents were together it was a very rare occasion that my dad would bring my mom flowers, but when he did, they always seemed to make her very happy. When we have flowers that grow in our yard shed always pick some and display them somewhere in the house. We used to have a huge vine of sweet peas that she loved so much. So I  thought that this would be a pleasant surprise as she has not received any flowers in a very long time.

I really enjoyed doing this act of kindness. When we were given this assignment, I knew that if I could not come across an opportunity to do something for a stranger, that I wanted to do something for my mom. She always works so hard to take care of my brothers and I, and things have been pretty tense lately, and so I thought that this would be a pleasant surprise. It made me feel so good to be able to do something for my mom when she does so much for me. Seeing my mom’s reaction when I gave her the flowers was amazing. Her smile was contagious. I could not help but feel all warm and tingly, and I found myself smiling when ever I thought about her reaction.

In this lecture we discussed if there is such a thing as true altruism (Proctor 2020). I think that this assignment would not be considered an act of everyday altruism as this was a part of an assignment, not necessarily of free will. I think that there is true altruism. I believe that true altruism comes from the intentions of the actions being made more than anything else. There were arguments for no such thing as true altruism, saying that no matter what after you do something good you will feel good about it. But I think that if the thoughts directly preceding the good actions did not revolve around the individual doing the act, it should be considered altruism, even if they are left with warm fuzzy feelings after. 

I think there are many different factors that would motivate an individual to do randoms acts of kindness in their everyday life. The different factors really rely on who the individual is as a person. There are some people who these actions come very natural to. A very, “If I can help, why wouldn’t I” type of mentality. I think it another factor has to do with the ability to see yourself in others. This is more of a “I would appreciate it if someone else did this for me, so I’ll do it for you” type of mentality. There are many things that can motivate people to do good in their daily life.

Finley, K (2020). Caring and doing for others [PowePoint presentation]. Retrieved from Moodle.

In class today we discussed the idea of red cape or green cape. Red cape being that you try to fix the bad and green being that you promote the good (Finley 2020). In class when we first started discussing it in a more general sense I was very much a red cape, but in more individual relationships I would consider myself a green cape. I try my best to appreciate the good and reinforce the positive actions. Working orientation my first year was highly stressful. When me and some of my coworkers were working very hard the night before orientation when stress was high, I made sure to thank them and reassure that the work they were doing was appreciated. We knew that we were under a deadline and that the pressure was high, so it felt very good to have positive affirmation for the work that we were doing. It helped motivate us to complete our tasks.

My mom is one of the most important people in my life. We have a very close relationship. Growing up and still to this day, my health is very delicate. Because of my fragile health we have worked very closely together to ensure that I stay healthy. Through these number of experiences we have developed a very strong and close relationship. In this relationship, I would think that I would wear a green cape, as there are very few cases where I feel like either of us need to be wearing our red cape. But there are ways we can utilize our green capes better. I feel like on my part I could definitely show more gratitude. Sometimes it’s hard to remember just how much my mom does for me and my brothers. Ways I could show more gratitude could be through positive affirmation like I did with my coworkers in orientation, recognizing and directly acknowledging the work she does and how much I appreciate it. I feel like one thing that could be improved on my mom’s end could be savoring. It’s not that she is not savoring the moments we have together, but there are times when I invite her to do something, and she invites some or all of my brothers to join us, when my intention was to have it be just the two of us. I understand that she wants my brothers to feel included, but I want to be able to have some time with just her so we can savor the experiences we have together when she is not stretched so thin. 

I think that the relationship with my mom already has a lot of the characteristics that were mentioned during our in-class activity today. My mom is supportive and caring, and I reciprocate these important aspects of a relationship. I can trust her with any information and our communication is really strong. She respects my privacy and vice versa. We also have a strong amount of empathy and capability to be vulnerable with each other. We treat and see each other as equals which helps us maintain our strong relationship.

Finley, K (2020). Positive relationships [PowePoint presentation]. Retrieved from Moodle. 

Pictured above: My Kindergarten graduation from St. Juliana’s Catholic school, and the upper quad where I practiced mindful meditation

Today in class we discussed values and character strengths. For out in-class activity we took a VIA survey that would determine our most prominent character strengths. The number one character strength I received was spirituality. I was mildly surprised by this finding. Out of the list of character strengths that were possible I would not have personally chosen spirituality as my number one. I think that if I were to assign the ranking on my own, my list would be very different. But when I received my list I feel like the rankings were very accurate, even if they were not where I would intentionally put them. I would consider myself a very spiritual person. I’ve grown up in a Catholic household. Growing up and still to this day my faith is a very important part of my life. My faith has always brought me a sense of safety and security, especially during the hard times in my life. As I’ve grown older my relationship with the church has waxed and waned, but I have always held strong to my spirituality and the sense of security it gives me. My spirituality is directly related to how I relate to the world and my thoughts on where I fit into it. Through my faith I have found that my place in the world heavily revolves around servitude, which affects many things in my life. From how I treat those around me on a day to day basis, to my professional and career goals. Almost everything I do is in servitude to those around me. 

For my strength activity I took a few minutes to practice mindful meditation. I sat in one of the chairs in the upper quad and took a few moments to focus on where I was and the state I was in. I took notice of the rising and falling of my chest with each breath. The weight of my body against the chair. The blades of grass tickling my ankle. The crisp chill of the breeze on my face, and the rustle of the leaves as the breeze ran through them. I have had a lot of heavy stuff on my mind lately and taking this moment to practice mindful meditation really helped ground me. Even though my problems and concerns were still there after I was done, I began to see them in a different perspective. Even though at this moment they seem world consuming, my problems won’t last forever and will eventually pass. This strength activity left me feeling very peaceful. Mindful meditation is something that I’ve done in one of my classes and it always really helped me focus into the moment I was in, rather than worrying about the numerous things that were causing chaos in my life. I think that this is something that would be very beneficial if I did this on a regular basis. There was a period of time where I tried to start meditating regularly, but I think this can be something I utilize when I’m particularly stressed or my mind is particularly clouded.

Creativity is a wonderful phenomena that can be experienced by many. As creativity is a phenomenon it is hard to describe but it is something that you know when you are experiencing/witnessing it. Finley and Csikszentmihalyi (2018) described different types of creativity labeled as “little c” and “Big C.” “Little c” is more mundane creativity that can be attained by any and all persons. “Big C” on the other hand is in regards to highly advanced creativity. This category is for those who have made a change in their domain of creativity (Finley 2020).

One person who displays highly advanced creativity is Frida Kahlo. Kahlo is one of the most famous and influential female artists. For someone to be considered creative with a “Big C”, they typically need to be intrinsically motivated (Finley & Csikszentmihalyi, 2018). Kahlo was primarily motivated to create her famous works of art as self expression and coping with the traumatic events that affected her. When Kahlo was young she had polio, resulting in the malformation of one of her legs, and at age 18 she was in a horrific accident that left her bedwridden for several months. This is when she started painting. During her time of severe injury she battled her loneliness with art, and did so again when her famed painter husband, David Rivera, was away. A few years into her marriage to Rivera, Kahlo became pregnant and due to her fragile health, miscarried the baby. To cope with the loss of her child Kahlo once again turned to art (Souter, 2011). Kahlo had a fighting spirit and displayed that in her art. Her creativity was an effective form of catharsis in her wild and challenging life. 

Although most of her motivation was intrinsic, there were some extrinsic factors that inspired her creativity. For many years she painted for herself. Her art being overshadowed by her famous husband, being thought of as just dabbling in her husband’s art form. Later in her life, after years of painting, her work started to become more recognized. Once she realized that her creativity could contract monetary value, she began to sell her work, when before she would use them as personal gifts to the people in her life. She used the money earned from her creativity to pay for her numerous medical expenses she had acquired throughout her life, and to maintain the lifestyle she and her husband enjoyed (Souter, 2011). But like mentioned before the majority of her intentions of her artwork were intrinsic. 

Kahlo exhibited many traits that are associated with highly creative people. She switches between being responsible and irresponsible, she follows the rules while still being rebellious, she was not known to conform to gender norms, There has been pain and suffering through out the majority of her life, and she received strong support from her family, particularly her father. (Finley, 2020). Kahlo demonstrates her responsibility and irresponsibility when she found out she was pregnant. She was willing and excited to take one the responsibility of a child as she felt prepared by taking care of her husband. Her irresponsibility was exhibited when she went to the doctor to ask advice about whether or not she should have the child due to her fragile health. When the doctor prescribed bed rest Kahlo completely ignored the advice (Souter, 2011). Another characteristic of a highly creative individual is going outside the gender norms. Kahlo was taken as an apprentice by her father, which was normal for a son rather than a daughter, she crossdressed, had affairs with both men and women, and showcased more masculine features in her paintings such as her unibrow and the hair on her upper lip (Souter, 2011).

You can see Kahlo’s affect on her domain later in her career. She had several expositions dedicated to her, she became a professor at an art school, received a national painting prize, had a museum dedicated to her work in her childhood home (Souter, 2011), and her work and life are studied all over. Frida Kahlo perfectly fits the definition of a “Big C” creative.

Seeking happiness seems to be a universal concept. Despite it seeming to be universal, happiness  is highly subjective and may change at any time. The causes and levels of happiness I have had in my life have changed as I, as an individual, have changed as well. At this point in my life, happiness is closely associated with love. I am happiest when I am around those that I love, and when I am doing things that I love.

My family and friends mean the world to me. Through the hardships I’ve faced over the years, it has become clear to me who matters most in my life, and who bring me the most happiness. When things were hard in my life and getting harder, these people were the bright spots in my dark days. I would not be where I am today without them.\

 I can also find happiness in the things I do. I love to be creative. Anything I can do with my hands, like painting or sewing. I love being active, like going on hikes or dancing. There’s something that’s kind of indescribable about these things, other than when I do them I just can’t help but feel happy. Even thinking about these things gives me a rush of energy and warmth in my chest.

I really resonated with some of the quotes that we saw in class. The ancient philosophers who talked about methods and means of happiness. Particularly Thomas Aquinas and Lao-Tzu. The quote from Thomas Aquinas expresses how happiness comes from within, and that you must be receptive to it in order to be happy (Finley, 2020). Often times when people get in a depressed state they resist anything that could potentially change their mood. I try my best to not get stuck in my sadness for too long. Lao-Tzu talked about being present and grateful rather than always wanting more. If you are in a state of mind where you’re wanting, it has the potential to go on forever, leaving you perpetually unsatisfied. But if you are in a more present and grateful mindset, your capacity for happiness is much higher (Finley, 2020). Through the hardships I have encountered in my life, I have learned how to be grateful for what I have. In comparison to some of the low experiences I’ve had, or even experiences of those around me, I am able to find happiness or a silver lining in whatever situation I’m in. This is also known as downward social comparison (Peterson, 2006). I feel like these ideas are in the same vein as Lao-Tzu’s philosophy. 

There were a lot of commonalities between the answers we got when we asked a stranger’s definitions of happiness. Many mentioned family or friends but there was one that I particularly related to. One person who worked in the book store said they feel happy when they serve students and see the joy they bring them. I also feel a lot of happiness when I am in service to others. This is why I joined student leadership in high school, was attracted to working for orientation, and why I chose my career path. Though I do relate to the other statements about friends and family, service is something that is very important to me and something that makes me the happiest.